:: drξam ::

Wednesday, January 31, 2007



I seriously do not get one thing. Why is it that when we're young, everything seems lovely, all people seem trustworthy and friendships seem unbreakable? And why is it that when we grow up we get fc*ked over so bad and not see it coming?

Speaking from experience, yes, it hurt real bad. I actually cried, in the middle of campus, and got permitted to leave class (I probably looked really sad, which was true!) and frankly speaking, I've had relationships that ended with less or no tears at all, but for this... thing you call friendship. Wth =.=" I've had this discussion w a wise friend of mine before (HAHAHAHA! WisE!) and when analysing friendships in general, we realised that although we don't put as much time and effort into a frienship, I suppose, strong friendships should be effortless, it actually hurts more when its gone. More than the intense passion of a relationship, in some cases.

So in regards to that, how would you justify the depth of a friendship and what would you do to maintain in? Say, you ran into all of them in town, you were about to say 'hi!' but Hey! waitaminute, why weren't you asked out as well? But then, its a once off, so no big deal, we can deal w it. An amount of time later, you asked where they're heading that night and they claimed to be going to a party. So no biggy, its some party at whatshisface place. but.. Wait! whatshisface is your friend as well. So what do you do? Do u rant it all out? Bitch to anyone who'll listen?

You see, friends come and go. Only real ones stick around when there's no one else. Only true friends offer help the moment you're in desperate need without hesitation. Only real friends automatically come to your aid, without needing to be asked. And sad to say, its only when ur fc*ked over that you know who ur true friends are. (Like me! Thanks u guys... >.<)

So back to the amnesiac bunch, when does one decide its too much? When all that is mentioned in the paragraph before happened? Or when you multiply all that by 3? The thing is, i loathe people like that. I mean, if you have a problem with us, tell it to our faces, so it will all be clean cut and done. Do not yabber about it behind our backs and do stupid little shits like that. At least then, I can say that you've got some balls, which well in your case, none of you do.

So, this is what I have to say. I may not be the best, or the nicest, the most thoughtful or the sweetest but if you hurt me or mine, I will remember it. And one day when the tables are turned, you will know what its like to have crossed me.






C'est la vie...1/31/2007 12:15:00 PM

Tuesday, January 16, 2007




I am officially f*rked tired. So tiredieeee..... Aaaah.. and I'm at work =.=" Omg.. damn 7 sian... Okay the reason why I am so tired is because...

Once upon a time, there was a pig. The pig came across a friend at the farm (workplace) who told him that he should model for a hairstylist. The pig chose to bring his gf along. Thus, both the pig and the gf ended up drowned in the hectic environment aka. hair modelling.

Since I've been there and done that (and swore not to do it again), I have no idea why I said yes. Maybe its because the stylist was very polite and nice. Maybe its coz I've gotten myself a free haircut and hairdye. I dunno... I'm too tired to even think. So Yesterday...

I woke up early (10.30am >.<) and headed off to the Empire Hotel and Country Club. Where I spent the next 3 hours sitting around, doing nothing as well as doing a lot of what I usually like to do. Then, I've got a tonne of make-up dumped on my face at approximately 2pm and had fake eyelashes so long, they reflected the light and made my vision very... shiny (as in framed with glittery things). This is also when my Pig arrived. We then proceeded to doing absolutely nothing for the next hour or so, then did A (yes, one rehearsal) on stage, then proceeded to doing nothing again. Bla bla bla.. I was Tired, Hungry, Losing my Mind, (as usual) then the show began...


I was pretty much relaxed the whole day, but when the show actually started, I freaked. Haha! And I have to thank this lady (I'm sorry I don't remember ur name) for giving me her glass of wine. 3 gulps makes a huge difference >.<>.<) refused to do it, and the gf (me ! >.<) was gulping wine and so much more of ... He did his first show with Stephanie. I like her clothes and her make up !! [I had to dress like, according to Daize, a Jap hip-hop chick, which looked like me going to Bubble w permed hair only. Swt!] She got to wear a dress!!! a DRESS !!! haha! They looked great, and even tho a mistake a supposedly made, I din see it. Til I saw the both of them freaking out backstage after. HAHA!!

The other models were adorable, albeit a bit young. Most of them are 18, my brothers age! My baby brother's age!! One of them looked like the lead singer of Greenday. I swear to God. There was a girl who looked like Valerie (haha! ahem ahem.. paging someone out there) One looked like he should be part of a Korean boyband. Yeaps, he came w the bod. Four of them had to look like hutan people, dreadloacks and all and the guys were shirtless and holding faggots. (No, not gay. means Burning torches people) Apparently, when they were out there, one of the faggots caught fire on the side and the model was trying to, inconspicuously as possible, blow it out. hahaha!

I have to say, even though I didn't have such a great day, thanks to all the waiting, I'm glad it happened, for the friends I've made, for the people I've met, for the experience I've got, and mostly for Gin, I knew u've always wanted to do something like this together, maybe on a larger scale but nonetheless, I think it was a wonderful experience for us and sorry for being so :@ yesterday =.="

-n-


C'est la vie...1/16/2007 12:18:00 PM

Wednesday, January 10, 2007



This is a test I did online. Hmm.. its pretty accurate =.=

You want to be regarded as an exiting and interesting personality able to persuade others to comply with your beliefs and ideas. You are charming and able to influence other people who come into your sphere of influence. You like mental stimulation and you are the sort of person who is prepared to 'try anything once'. Your confidence is so much so that others are often swept away by your enthusiasm.Your situation is such that at this time it is essential that you resolve your inherent problems immediately. You are not listening nor taking heed from your many friends and advisers, all of which believe it or not, 'wish you well'. Most of your colleagues feel that your attitude is out of context - an attitude of recklessness and desperation. It is imperative that some solution be found, but whatever you do, think before you act.You are very demanding - and insisting on total involvement but you do not reciprocate with the same depth of feeling. However, it could well be that maybe an unprecedented surprise is awaiting you in the near future. For just as one whilst paddling in the sea, could flounder into a whirlpool, so you may be drawn into a loving situation that has high emotional demands - and you could well respond with a depth of emotion that you never even dreamed that you possessed.You are trying to prove yourself - not only to yourself but also to everyone around you. There is much that you would like to say and do but the situation warrants self-restraint and that is the last thing that you have on your mind. It would seem that you have an unsatisfied need to ally yourself with others whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to stand out from the crowd. This is subjecting you to considerable stress but you tend to stick to your attitudes despite lack of appreciation. Of course, you are finding the situation uncomfortable and would like nothing better but to break away from it but you don't like the idea of compromise. Your main problem is that you are unable to resolve the situation because you continually postpone making the necessary decisions. You feel that if you make the wrong choice this would lead to such opposition that you would not be able to command the esteem of others. It is essential that those around you are prepared to comply with your wishes.You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.


C'est la vie...1/10/2007 08:16:00 PM




10 June - 7 July

Eagle

A well-respected figure which has excellent visionary qualities. Eagles will truck no nonsense and will fix opponents with a powerful stare. They have the power to rise above the trivial aspects of humanity, and are highly talon-ted.


C'est la vie...1/10/2007 08:11:00 PM



Happy New Year Ppl ! Its 2007 !!


Well, compared to last year, my NYE this year was relatively mild and thankfully eventless. But then again, nothing can be worse than meeting ur ex at the same party, gotten dragged out of the place by his cousin who wanted us to 'talk', gotten drunk because of everything, puked outside the building coz of the alcohol, ran into someone else I didn't want to see, and the grand finale... found my bf talking to *him.

This year, partially to avoid NYE '06 and mainly because Brunei is so sad that they had to ban NYE celebrations due to some Islamic event, we hopped into a 4WD and ventured off on Road Trip 2006 to Kota Kinabalu. [P/S: the 4WD was, very tragically, stolen on the 6th of January, in Miri. Tsk tsk! Malaysians. Now back to my story...] The journey officially began at 1.30pm, which is about the time we left Mr D's place. We got stuck in the bitchiest traffic jam, in the biggest downpour with teh tarik-coloured water gushing on the road for a grand total of about 4 hours. We finally reached Limbang at 6pm. We then ventured on to Temburong and got stuck in another traffic jam for the saddest ferry in the world. Seriously, even I can swim across the 'river' which may even be smaller than some drains.

Heading on, we had to cross out of Brunei (Temburong) again into Sarawak, and then into Sabah. All of which required us to stamp our passports seven times [my poor new passport, stamped all over the place by the stupid immigration officers). We finally arrived at our destination at 11.30pm, some apartment place facing the sea in the city. Three-bedroom apartment to be shared by 11 people, thankfully because I'm a girl, I got to share a bedroom with my bf in private. An additional perk, my pig managed to acquire the room with ensuite so mmmhmmmm =.=

Next morning, we had to wake up at 5am [Ugrh !] then we drove to Kuala Penyu [penyu penyu penyu! isn't it the most adorable word?] and came across a roundabout with three turtle statues in the middle. So cute ! We reached Kuala Penyu at 8.30am and had to wait 2 hours for our boat to take us to ----> Pulau Tiga aka. Survivor Island. In the little bouncy boat, approaching the island, my breath was caught by one of the most beautiful sights I've seen (which is not in a tv or computer screen). The trees were 'beautifully' green, the sea was blue, the sand was white... Aah... Paradise.

Enticed by the sight of the resort, we hurried off to check-in, dropped our bags, got changed and jumped into the water where we spent the whole morning snorkelling. It was amazing, looking at all the corals and little fishes but sad as well as a lot of it has been destroyed by inconsiderate divers and pollution (i know, i sound like i should be on the Discovery Channel). There is a drawback, at first, because we were struggling to adapt to breathing w our mouths only and the flippers, which makes our feet feel like it weighs a tonne, doesn't help much either. We spent half the day drowning each other =.=" After that, we spent a rather interesting afternoon. Interesting, in the fact that I, yes I, hiked (i mean like, since when do i hike?) up a hill. Interesting, because I did it to see a mud pool (I got conned! Volcano Mud just sounds so much cooler) Believe it or not, I actually jumped into the mud (yes, it was real mud.) and check this out, I hiked down the stupid hill, Bare-Footed and caked in mud. Seriously looked like an Aborigine with fair skin. But I like to think of that as a personal achievement. haha! Seriously, can u imagine ME barefooted, caked in mud n hiking down a hill !?!?

New Year's Eve, we had a nice barbeque, although I was too tired to even eat. They had this party, which was gay because their music can go from the Beach Boys to Shakira and to some la la style trance. I suppose the highlight of the evening was the fireworks which wasn't extravagant, but sufficient enough. The boys, coaxed by this man who we supposed was the owner of the resort, decided to jump off the pier into the water, after midnight. Its tradition on the island, we were told, and it supposedly brings good luck. This is, of course, yet to be seen.

Two days later and a dozen sandfly bites and five shades darker, we all began our perilous journey back to our homeland. It was an exciting journey, I would say, as we spent the whole time chasing a white Toyota Kijang that was muddy and occupied by friends, albeit they look more like Thai workers than people returning home from a vacation. We had walkie-talkies as well, its purpose to help us overtake other cars when we're chasing their car. Although, the communicator did a pretty lousy job what with the "Cut now, there's no car" -> "Oops, no wait, there's a motorbike" or "Sure, there's no car. Cut now!" -> "Erm.. there is a car. We see its headlights" But all in all, it was fun.

Now, back to the present, I'm still working at VW. Its actually fun. I think mainly from the company there. My colleagues are fun, friendly, not so much politics =) I suppose I should be working til early Febs and smelly Vel, I would like very much to put my tagboard but I have forgotten how to do it. If I do not figure it out by the time I see u, u shall have to help me. HAHA! The formality of this post is due to the fact that I am bored. and Cimiu, I am angry at u!

I really hope that this would be a good year for me so I shall... pray. haha!

-n-




C'est la vie...1/10/2007 02:18:00 PM